Over the last few years, the number of cable news shows that I watch has dwindled from whatever show was on (when I flipped on the TV), to a very select few (Including Stephanie, Joy, Nicolle, Ari, Rachel, Chris, and whatever is on Fox when I want to practice EMPATHY)

Since I’m someone who coaches people in three-dimensional empathy (the Skill, the Need & the Language…SNL), I decided to self-empathize and see if I could tap into the BIG reason WHY. (What was I not getting from the shows that I used to watch, and what was behind these painful emotions?)

At 1st I wasn’t sure. Then I did something that’s really been helpful (& effective), for me. I changed the lens that I was looking through (while simultaneously keeping an eye on the question). Having played sports most of my life, I tried a sports lens, and thankfully the understanding found me!

What was the issue? Well, I was watching a guest on one of the shows I used to watch, being interviewed with the same journalistic integrity, respect & dignity, that you might imagine from a Tom Brokaw or a Gwen Ifill or a Walter Cronkite. The thing was, when this guest started to ‘jump offsides’ and ‘step out of bounds’ (BS’ng, gaslighting & alternative facts-ing), there didn’t seem to be a referee (or an umpire) anywhere in sight, to blow a whistle, throw a flag or stop the game.

When the next guest came on (self-officiating, and honoring time old traditions of civility), the impact of the previous interview seemed to have hardened the journalist to a point where NOW they were calling out tiny little things (like untucked jerseys, unbuckled straps & shoelace length). The contrast was extraordinary, and as an american of african-ancestry (who’s seen his pale-male friends get away with being ‘uppity’ and ‘hysterical’, while he gets painted with those labels based on other people’s behaviors), it seemed very familiar.

Then I noticed (like with ‘Times Up’ & ‘Take A Knee’), the rules have changed, the game has changed and maybe (with some empathic help) journalists can change too. Btw (from a spiritual POV), empathy hasn’t changed, and PiMPing (pale male privilege) has always been a penalty🏳️‍🌈

So here’s what came to mind (LMK your thoughts?): In old school journalism, neutrality equaled nobility & responsibility. But in today’s era of toxic BS, gaslighting & alternative facts, journalistic neutrality equals complicity & culpability…feel me?). Why? Because ‘bad faith’ kicks good faith’s ass, when they’re both in a neutral space (as bad faith is willing to cross lines & boundaries that GOOD FAITH isn’t willing to do…and that’s when journalists need to blow a whistle, throw a flag & stop the game🏈(See ya working, @JoyAnnReid & @NicolleDWallace)

Today’s journalists need to be badass referees. The days of dainty neutrality seem to be long gone. And if the ‘rules of law’ are important, then stepping up our game with the changing rules of journalism, seems right in line, yes? And please Journo-Refs, when someone uses the expletive/slur, ‘democrat party‘ (& trust me, when the noun ‘democrat’ is used as an adjective, it’s GOP code for F/U…like ‘bless their hearts’ or ‘in their own way’), please blow a whistle, throw a flag & stop the game! All you need to say is, ‘THE ADJECTIVE IS DEMOCRATIC’, or as Joy Reid once said…

‘we say democratic on this show’

(& on a side note, head-words are no match for gut-words…’disgusting’ & ‘disgraceful’ kick ‘inappropriate’ & ‘shoulds’ ass all day. While HEART words (like FREEDOM, PROTECTION, SAFETY…said from a powerfully loving & abundant place), can stand up to fear & scarcity 24/7/31/12)

…in fact did you know that communication rolls 55% physiology, 38% tonality and 7% verbally? Which means ‘big lies’ told with big tonality & big physiology, can sucker-punch any ‘little truth’ that’s told WITHOUT conviction! #BigTruth (on the other hand), uses power with others, empathic use of force & finds the beauty in those ‘big lies’, while rockin’ ’em like a ninja-hurricane (anyone else a ‘Scorpions’ fan?😊)

Oh, one more thing Journo-Refs! In the spirit of @JakeTapper‘s #AllThePresidentsLies (Btw, 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct on that unnecessary President Obama dig at the beginning, Jake). In the spirit of ‘All The Presidents Lies’ (see how repetition works?), when we repeat BS we reinforce BS. And when we reinforce BS, it starts to smell less. So three things please:

1. When you repeat the twice-impeached, sex-abuser, convicted-felon, ex-president’s words in your regular voice, it transfers our feelings about you onto his words. Say them in a tone that expresses their impact on the world (ie refrain from lending dignity through tonality)

2. When you repeat the twice-impeached, sex-abuser, convicted-felon, ex-president’s gaslighting-terms (exactly the way he says them), telling us WHY they’re BS has little effect. Leave out a word (or change the word order), as a way to scratch the record, and interrupt the pattern (eg ‘he says it wasn’t an ugly phone call’ or ‘he says it wasn’t YES collusion, YES corruption’…see what I mean?). Refrain from lending dignity through terminology. Feel me?

3. When you forget this is Hatfield’s & McCoy’s. When you laugh at his ‘demolition of democracy’ like you don’t remember ‘Tug Fork’. When you let your inner Randall McCoy let this Hatfield ‘jump offsides’ (& ‘step out of bounds’), it’s like you’re COOL with him having punched your Meemaw in the face (graphic enough?)

Dear journalists,

You’re not observers of a sinking ship (called democracy). You are passenger/crew-members (with keys to the extraction-pump). And whether it’s water or BS, if you don’t turn on the pump, we sink💧

Remember, speech can be violent (attacking force), and violent speech (verbal attacking force) is not protected speech (1st amendment violations include: obscene-words, fighting-words & subversive-words…ie subjective non-truth). So blow a whistle, throw a flag & stop this game of ‘toxic-bullying’ (we’re depending on you, DAMNIT)

‘Obedience isn’t loyalty, force isn’t strength & sucker-punching isn’t counterpunching’ ~SiMBa

So, why do I only watch certain shows now? Because I’ve worked way too hard (to be kind, happy & empathic), to waste any amount of energy being ‘pissed off’ all the time (ya know?)

‘It’s better to trust (& be disappointed once in awhile), than it is to distrust (& be miserable all of the time)’ ~Lincoln

Love & Empathy, team-humanity

“Together We Rise, Together We Fly” ~Tony ‘we’re not separate races or different colors (but the pain & trauma are real)’ Scruggs (‘The Empathy Guy’)

(Empathic Warrior Training)🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾